[mythtv-users] Remote frontend not working - Mythbuntu Control Centre option greyed out?

[nospam312]

>  You change that setting on the backend - not the frontend...  If you can't get
>  it to change on that machine, then you can simply modify
>  /etc/mysql/conf.d/mythtv.cnf

I have a machine which is a BE and FE.  This is where I am trying to
connect a remote FE to.  The setting in the Control Centre on the
combined BE/FE is greyed out.

I have commented out the bind-address line in mythtv.cnf and that did
not help.  If I change from 0.0.0.0 to the IP address of the combined
FE & BE that seems to get Myth confused and thinks it needs to setup
the backend again after I reboot.

The error message when I do a mysql -hTHEIPADDRESS is "error 2003
(hy000) can't connect to mysql server on THEIPADDRESS (111).  This is
without even specifying a user and password.

Any other ideas?

TIA